Ugly Britney Berry

Hello three people who read this, it's me, the psycho son of a bitch who blogs for no one to see. Whatev. Anyway, Christian Siriano, winner of Project Runway, recently said that he would guest star on Ugly Betty with Heidi Klum. Is it just me, or am I the only one who's excited, because I recently have inducted "Fierce", and "Tranny" into my vocabulary. What about "Hot Mess" ? I have to say he stole that from Chelsea Handler. So it was already in there. By the way, Betty's ensemble is amazingly fierce, in a "mexican in Queens" way. Now, getting to the rest of the gossip, there was a recent designer swag party this friday that was going smoothly until the sponsor's banner along the red carpet pissed off red carpet Lindsay Lohan. Why? The two sponsors were PARIS HILTON Handbags, and an unknown alchohol company. A double whammy? No, they removed the banner for LiLo, who left an hour later stilled pissed off, and then put back up, for PARIS. Getting to trends, last year it was in to be pregnant, that went out and now twins are in, making Angelina Jolie one in girl, yes its not confirmed, but a close source says they're expecting twins, which will be born in France (Hopefully france, I can already see Angie having a Louis Vuitton and Armani son and Chanel and Gucci daughter, buying those clothes I mean). But France? I guess Angies giving up on Africa and going European. Well, lets move on, Britney's new music video dropped and, I'm kinda neutral, I mean it's great, but, manga? It was done in fucking Korea! At least Brit was on time for this shoot. What I don't get is

her blowing up either her clone, or alter-ego, or her former self, I can't make heads or tails of it.Then theres the guest spot on "How I met Your Mother", when I saw her quote on EXTRA, I said, "It's good to see Britney getting her life back and not getting drugged into a slight insanity by her arab". I don't think I'm racist, so S.T.F.U. This could be Britney's comeback (DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THE JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE SHRINE IN HER CLOSET! THERES NOTHING THERE! SHE'S FINE!FINE!). She is not crazy! And that dinner with Mel Gibson was friendly, ok, they have the same friends. What am I saying? How could Britney and Mel have the same friends. Leaning away towards Halle Berry, she just welcomed her new duaghter recently, but
no one knows her name. Although It's odd though, all these celebrities are waiting to have children until their 40's and they'll be in their 60's by the time the oldest is in college. Let's hope all celebrities grow old gracefully. Finally, I am going to find out how to contact MTV and propose my idea to follow me and my friends in a show we'd call, "The Valley"(valley accent). It's going to follow us for at least a quarter of our lives and is going to be about, the REAL valley. The San Joauquin Valley, unfortunately though, the biggest high end place we'd have to go to though would be Paraguay's the newest expensive restraunt here, either that or Jamba Juice, Starbucks, and the bench in front of Hollister at the mall, but my best friends don't shop there because they'd be mingling with the "regular crowd". Well, I'm off, Bi-otch!

Patrick Swayze has Cancer, does anyone actually care?

So Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer? Really, does anyone care except 40 year old teeny boppers from the 80's? He hasn't done very much work lately, he's 55, and Family Guy recently featured the realistic version of Dirty Dancing where he gets sent to jail for sleeping with a minor and gets prison raped. Maybe he got cancer there. Now, going back to YOUNGER people, Jake Gyllenhal was spotted in New York without alleged girlfriend Reese Witherspoon. Honestly, I didn't add a picture because he has enough pictures alone on the internet. Leaning to an even younger crowd, Jamie Lynn has been revealed to have a guest appearance in an upcoming show debuting later this month, the controversy is, she screws two guys in one episode and her characters in High School. Didn't she learn anything? Because she got pregnant after her fake hot-pocket entering. Speaking of Pickachus, her Pikachu is gonna get all sloppy like Michael Jackson's face when she has that baby. Maybe they should approach this the Juno way. Plus, she looks like a sleut with all that makeup, no, whore, she looks like a whore, I wonder if she ever gave her boyfriend a B.J. If she did, she's officialy never going to one of Chelsea Handler's friends. Who absolutely despises the act, H.J.'s however.................On the same subject, Chelsea also said on her show that she has a fantasy of Simon Cowell being on top of her and yelling, "The British are Coming!The British are Coming!". Please let that be the work of the writers. To add to sexual fest, an american idol has been revealed as a male stripper in a gay bar (don't ask for a name, I really don't give a rat's ass about the show). of course though, there's a controversy since some girl was said to be a webcam dancer. This reminds me of the Ugly Betty episode when Sophia's boyfriend is actually a stripper, Betty goes to see him, and asks, "You're Bi-sexual?!". And he says, "They buy, I'm sexual". Ya, interesting, that though brings us to the Kardashian sister's crushes recently unveiled on E!Online. Guess what though, K-Fed was one of them! My God! The world is spiraling into flames! And Khloe (Kardashian), K-Feds body doesn't hurt, but it doesn't feel good, or look good.

I was just thinking......

....what happened to Starveillance? I used to love that show soooooooooooooo much. I think everyone should boycott E! and get back Starveillance. I mean it's the channels biggest thing, and then it just disappears?! Watdafuxup? Help me Obi Wa, I mean, help me three people that are reading this, get Starveillance back!!!!!!!

Damn HP's!

Hello There! Did you miss me!? Probably not, but anyway, if you're like me, you've heard the rumor of Mischa joining GG (Barton & Gossip Girl, duh!). Sadly it's not true. Yes, Josh Schwartz did not get her to join, leaving O.C. fans upset since he , killed her off that show. But, oddly, I'm also happy. Why? Because if Mischa joined GG, she would have had penetration with someone, and I mean, SOMEONE. (No offense, but her character on the O.C. could be a tramp at times).

Anyway, Justin and Drew were spotted at a phoneless, tv-less, mexican resort. Almost like my friend Becca's house, except it isn't a tropical paradise, it's a house owned by white people (her family, no offense becca) in the barrio. Doesn't Justin look cold? And Drew doesn't seem to notice. Is she looking at the camera? Ssssusssspiccccious. In other News, you might have heard the rumors of Brit-Brit being preggers, I have no idea if it's true, but what if she's just getting fat? Maybe the midnight Taco Bell runs have caught up with her, just think about it, eat, eat, eat, smoke, be crazy, is there any excercise in that schedule? No. Around the same time, Paris was spotted at the Four Seasons with a mag with Nicole on the cover. People have said she's feeling lonely and betrayed because Nicole barley talks to her anymore, theres a perfect explanation for that, Nicoles a mom now! Paris is a free spirit, Nicole's a breast-feeder. Nicole doesn't have time to be a brat, and Paris understands that, but she still is lonely, what else do you think the new show, "Paris' Next Top Friend" is for. Seriously though, I have no idea what the titles gonna be. By the way, JLo's kids are named Max and Emme, just Max and Emme. Personally, if I ahve kids one day, I'm gonna want them to be boy & girl twins too, that way I'll have two kids to spoil that look the same, but have different tastes, plus I'll be able to have a daughter-in-law, and a son-in-law that I can torture. Finally, let's talk about ME. I've recently perfected Kendra's laugh, and my piece of

$&#% computer can't f%&#ing load blogspot, that's why I've been gone for a while. Announcement: I will begin listing philosophies from my book "The Evil Fortune Cookie Vol.1", enjoy!