Saturday, March 1, 2008

Damn HP's!

Hello There! Did you miss me!? Probably not, but anyway, if you're like me, you've heard the rumor of Mischa joining GG (Barton & Gossip Girl, duh!). Sadly it's not true. Yes, Josh Schwartz did not get her to join, leaving O.C. fans upset since he , killed her off that show. But, oddly, I'm also happy. Why? Because if Mischa joined GG, she would have had penetration with someone, and I mean, SOMEONE. (No offense, but her character on the O.C. could be a tramp at times).

Anyway, Justin and Drew were spotted at a phoneless, tv-less, mexican resort. Almost like my friend Becca's house, except it isn't a tropical paradise, it's a house owned by white people (her family, no offense becca) in the barrio. Doesn't Justin look cold? And Drew doesn't seem to notice. Is she looking at the camera? Ssssusssspiccccious. In other News, you might have heard the rumors of Brit-Brit being preggers, I have no idea if it's true, but what if she's just getting fat? Maybe the midnight Taco Bell runs have caught up with her, just think about it, eat, eat, eat, smoke, be crazy, is there any excercise in that schedule? No. Around the same time, Paris was spotted at the Four Seasons with a mag with Nicole on the cover. People have said she's feeling lonely and betrayed because Nicole barley talks to her anymore, theres a perfect explanation for that, Nicoles a mom now! Paris is a free spirit, Nicole's a breast-feeder. Nicole doesn't have time to be a brat, and Paris understands that, but she still is lonely, what else do you think the new show, "Paris' Next Top Friend" is for. Seriously though, I have no idea what the titles gonna be. By the way, JLo's kids are named Max and Emme, just Max and Emme. Personally, if I ahve kids one day, I'm gonna want them to be boy & girl twins too, that way I'll have two kids to spoil that look the same, but have different tastes, plus I'll be able to have a daughter-in-law, and a son-in-law that I can torture. Finally, let's talk about ME. I've recently perfected Kendra's laugh, and my piece of
$&#% computer can't f%&#ing load blogspot, that's why I've been gone for a while. Announcement: I will begin listing philosophies from my book "The Evil Fortune Cookie Vol.1", enjoy!
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My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.