PUTA

Hello there, Stephan Monroe Ravelle is here, and wishes to establish, PUTA. People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals. You may be asking, What the fuck is wrong with me? Nothing. You see, I am so fucking tired of PETA putting my people down. Who are my people? Fur lovers. For a few months now, I have had the dream to one day be the owner of a polar bear fur coat with a 7-foot train and grey wolf trim. So, I have decided to form PUTA. Now, you may be pissed off, or you may be laughing over my organization's name, which in spanish, means, cough, cough, whore. But whatever, at least we're not MENSA. I mean seriously, if they're so smart, they would change their name to something mexicans won't laugh their ass off at. What? You don't know what Mensa means? Mensa, means idiot. So, refocusing on my organization, as soon as we get enough funds, we're going to protest PETA, by sending 300 mink coats to their headquarters. Besides that, every time they're seen protesting, my people will show up and throw blue paint on them, and then dead mink corpses. Our offices are also going to have leather wallpaper and wooden paneling made from trees from the Congo. So Pamela Anderson, looks like we can't be friends one day.