Monday, October 20, 2008

Happy Birthday, Mr. Krasinski, Happy Birthday, To You.....

Hello My Darlings, It's Your Favorite Lunatic, and guess who's birthday it is. John Krasinski's! Yep, someone nearin' eternal damnnation, you know, turning thirty. Lucky for him, he's turning 29. Now, some of you may be thinking, "Um, what about a certain british actor-ey, your obsessed with-ey"(I'm sorry I just sounded canadian, which I am, so.....). Well, simply put, by the time I figured out John's and Jim's [Sturgess], JIm's had already passed (confusing isn't it, Jim is the name of John's character on the office). Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate the birthday boy. He's so damn cute, it's like he should be a model or something but he can't because he's not pretty, he's raw hotness, not all this make-up, hairspray, hairshine, and manicures, leaves that to we homos, kay. Anyway...John, if you're reading, Happy Birthday. Oh, and, yes, the title is a parody of when Marilyn Monroe sang on JFK's birthday, so John, don't try to become president anytime soon. Toodles!
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My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.