Ok, I just had to sound off on the Jonas Brothers, what the fuck!?!?! Ok, first, why do they wear virgin rings, I mean if you are that much of a super-christian, then you should just move to Texas and become a polygamast, either that, or the Pennsylvania countryside, home of the Amish. No one waits anymore! It's f#$%ing 2008! Get with the damn program! Secondly, many a blogger have said they're probably gay, and it's just a coincidence, but, they look pretty gay! Why's the middle one's face shiny?! It's like denying you feel alone when you have 30 cats. Look, I'm agreeing with Chelsea Handler, and I quote her, "Take the damn virgin rings off you fingers and put it on something a woman can really appreciate!". Moving On (slightly pissed off valley voice), I've heard off the grapevine (E!) that LiLO is a lesbian. I personally don't care about the carpet and drape mismatcher, but, if she is one, her supposed girlfriend looks like shit. I mean she's a DJ and looks like she snorts crack, wait! She's not her girlfriend, she's her dealer! And people say I'm slow. Oh, and just remembering, Perez Hilton, wherever you are, BITCH! How dare you say Chelsea Handler had vaginal reduction surgery, it was enlargement! And she just had children, if you count fighting beta fish. In other news, the Office's season finale is titled "Goodbye Toby", and rumors about a spin-off are raining like men in that awful 90's song. The thing is, I would miss Toby, who would be there to chastise Michael about sexual 
harrasment and speak in that oddly enjoyable monotone. If anyone's interested in the rest of my thoughts on the Office, just go to the E! Online article where I commented. Now, to pick up on an earlier subject, Hannah Cyrus is a sleuty bitch whore. First she poses with some ugly dude near his crotch, then in her bra, and now topless in Vanity Fair. And to add to the pile, she did a sexy pose with her Dad. INCEST! It is nasty, and she's wearing a high cut tee so she can prove she isn't pregnant with her father's child. Ooops! Did I say that!? Did I say that Billy Ray Cyrus had sex with his sleuty bitch whore of a daughter and she's pregnant now!? I got you bi-otch! (Miley). While the word spin-off is still in my head, I have an idea for a comedy spin-off from CSI:Miami. Ok, it's kinda cheesy, and I might have stolen half the idea from someone, but, Ryan gets shot, realizes how dangerous his job is, and becomes a biology/chemistry/science teacher at an expensive Prep/Boarding school in SoCal. Don't worry, it wouldn't be Zoey 101-ish (which I hated from the start, did I ever say about how a year ago, I stopped watching Disney,Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network about a year ago), but more like Gossip Girl meets Miss Guided, meets Pushing Daisies (Peg Entwistle, Rudolph Valentino, Katherine Hepburn, and Spencer Tracy haunt the school). By the way, I'm finally catching up on my G.G.'s. Georgina is such a sleuty bitch! She mails porn and a whip to Serena and Dan, comes back, then drugs Serena, and in the last scene she was being so whorish she was practically begging Dan to drop his pants when she locked Serena in her room and found Dan in the park and hit on him harder than Nate when he and Serena had sex at the wedding a year ago in a big, sloppy, drunk mess. Whatev, I'm getting Carpel Tunnel as I type. Toodles!
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