"Ravelle's Scale", which I obviously made up myself and own, anyway, we all remember OMFG, you, know, Nate & Serena had penetration, and everything just went down the shit shoot. But now, she's interested in Dan, and since the CW is just typing away something completely different than the books, I have an idea for the next season, and since most of my ideas are probably ratings gold, I can describe only through the commercial that would be everywhere before the episode. OMFG, the same flash affect of like an old film recorder, and instead of Nate getting on the nasty with Serena, it's Dan, and in the episode, Serena finds out General Bitch, Georgina, shot a sex tape of the two, an voila! An enormous feud between Serena and Georgina begins while Blair schemes to be Queen Bee again, only loosing to Jenny, who wins the title by spilling the beans about Serena and Dan, and Serena and Nate, which then leads to our Gossip Girl reporting to all, and the writers can take the next episode, seeing as, (nouvou riche accent) I'm luxuriously lazy. Moving on, Michael Rosenbaum from Smallville is leaving the show, although I'm pretty sure no one cares. Moving on to better news, Nick Cannon and Mimi got married in the Bahamas, verified by Cannon's aunt. OK, 
first, what is it with divas marrying younger men, it's just a bit annoying, find someone your own age, MIMI. Secondly, this bitch acts like she's still 12, she says she can count the number of men she's had penetration with on one hand. I say that's bullshit. I bet she used that hand for something else, if you catch my drift. In other news, LESBIAN, Rosie O'Donnell was on the Rachel Ray show. Both of which I hate. I prefer Martha Stewart. Onward (annoying british Madonna accent)! Made of Honor came out a week ago today, and although not a hit, is a success. I have not seen it yet and thanks to my only sworn reader, I don't have to leave home to watch it (bootleg stupid). Some may say that it's another version of my best-friend's wedding, but Julia Roberts is a bitch, Patrick Dempsey is lonely, and she's the only he can commit to. I'm out, worship me bitches!
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