Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Dirt Bites the Dust

Hello Upper West Coasters, Gossip Guy here, and it looks like Courtney Cox is out of an acting job. FX's Dirt, a show about a magazine editor who'll do anything to get the best picture, even if it's technical stalking has been canned. Personally, I never saw the show, but I just love the dress in that picture. Something about huge, overly large, long-trained dresses sits with me. MOVING ON! In a recent sighting, Paris has proved that celebrities are people too, when she decided on Cap'n Crunch instead of Lucky Charms at small grocery store in old Hollywoodland. For once she's waking up with the guy the night after. Oh wait, Benji. MOVING ON! Recnt rumours that Miley Montana was dating a 22 year old back-up dancer (Brit-Brit all over again) were dispelled when BFF Mandy told Ryan Seacrest "she's totally single". Happily, MOVING ON! There's also been rumors of a Gossip Girl spin-off, centering around Little Jenny Humphrey, but that was also sadly dispelled by Josh Schwartzman who I'll never forgive for killing Marissa on The O.C. And I definitly will never forgive him for breaking up Serena and Dan, well, that was your high noon post, see you round' five-ish. I'm Out, Worship Me Bitches!
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My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.