Tuesday, June 24, 2008

For All The Straight Men (If Any)

Well, the "nGelina" of "Brangelina" has put up one of her leather coats up for auciton for charity. So, if you're a straight guy obsessed with her as much as I'm obsessed with Jim Sturgess, a woman who hates her and wants to prove you look better, an idolizing female who wants to be "Just Like Her" or a lesbian stalker, you better cough up at least, AT LEAST, three grand, and be anorexic, she's an extra-small. Personally, if I had the money, I'd buy it, let that money go to charity, then sell it before my 70th birthday to get some work done to look 25 again. Am I a planner or what? Snip! Snip! Hmph, reminds me of that song "Perfect Lie" by The Engine Room. It's the theme song to "Nip/Tuck" something straight men might wanna see as they're very loose with the television censorship. I just watch it and wait for the guys to show up, although I did like the episode with the Number #1 Marilyn Monroe impersonator, what can I say, my role-models are Marilyn Monroe, Jayne Mansfield, Jean Harlow, and Mae West. Ok, I better go before I keep babbling uncontrolably. Toodles!
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My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.