Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Apparently A Lesbian Lover is Good For Mental Health

Recently, Lilo was spotted on the set of Ugly Betty for her character arch next season as an former popular class mate turned buger flipper. Many have been talking about how Lilo has practically come out of the closet without coming out of the closet. The thing is instead of talking about her sexuality or what her family thinks, the media has been very positive, the buzz being on how Samantha's pressence in her life has made her so much more visibly happier, and more importantly, kept her out of trouble. We all remember Lilo passing out in that car or trying to run over that tree that kept giving her the stink eye, but she's done with the fine white powder, she's into fish. Ooooh, I am sooooo bad. But who's to blame her, I'm into beef. I am soooooooooo bad. MOVING ON! Recently, Brad Pitt expressed how he'll take legal action if the paps get any pictures that are "suspicious". As in getting the picture by buzzing their mansion in a helicopter. MOVING ON! Recently Amy Winehouse made an apperance at Madame Tussauds. I'm kidding, she was too depressed by her hubie's sentence, but how did they snap this pic? Well honey, it's Madame Tussauds, the home of the wax wonders. So, take a good look, this what she'd look like if she quit the pipe. The highlight of the day is when her parents were overheard talking about how they'd rather trade their's in for this one. I'm noticing something though, LiLo, Amy, Kate Moss, other models. What are the two things they have in common? Thin bodies & Crack. So I can't help but get ideas, what is about crack, that makes people so thin? I mean, look around, woman crackheads, thin. Guy crackheads, lanky. They should see if they can isolate whatever does this, put it in pill form, and market it. I would be poppin' those things like candy. MOVING ON! Ethan Hawke had a baby with his new wife, Ryan Shawhughes, Clementine Jane Hawke. I can only hope the baby looks more like the mother, Ethan is no sight for sore eyes. Ok, I better go, not much to report today, although, I just want to mention, try Ono Hawaiian Barbeque, I had some for dinner last nigh, ugh! De-lish! I'm Out, Worship Me Bitches!

My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.