My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake
Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.
#1"Admitting I have a problem does nothing" #2"Murders Fun!" #3"Money CAN buy you happiness, you just have to have enough" #4"I fill emotional voids with Macy's!" #5"If revenge is a dish best served cold, I'm the forgotten, undefrostable Lean Cuisine in the back of the freezer!" #6"Can't afford Neiman Marcus! Aww, are you poor!?" #7'The Devil Wears Prada is stupid, everyone knows he wears either Chanel or Armani" #8"Person 1:Go to Hell! Person 2:You go to hell! Person 1: I'll save you a seat! Person 2: Make sure it's front row. #9"Please Trip" #10"What's a rowmbuss?" #11"Don't Bless You" #12"I eat my feelings" #13"I may be mentally unstable, saddistic, psychotic, paranoid, bi-polar, mood swing-prone and outright crazy, but I have better taste" #14"ASSISTANT: So, uh, I don't want to seem unappreciative, but, can I get tickets to the Gucci Ball? DESIGNER: Why don't you shut up and get me some Starbucks you piece of shit bitch? ASSISTANT THINKING: At least I get to pee in your coffee, steal your unused clothes, then have hot jungle penetration with my boyfriend in your bed" #15"People say I don't have something called 'empathy'"? #16"I'm too flawless to be with you people! What the hell happened?! #17This is a best friend talking to the camera on My Super Sweet 16:"I'm like, totally Crystal's best friend, even though she won't make eye contact with me and says my face looks like scrambled eggs, but, she did let give her ex-boyfriend a handjob" #18"Oh my God! Dad! Can't you just pay for everything and leave?! #19"I swear to god mom, I want to punch you in the face" #20"Don't ever wear that outfit again or I'll vomit on you" #21"If my Super Sweet 16 isn't perfect, I will like, literally set my parents on fire" #22"What are you doing here! I need you outside telling people they can't get in!" #23"Wow, you're ugly" #24(singing)"White leather Coaches, and Chanel evening gowns. Tiffany's Silverware and Macy's Wedding gowns. Ready-to-Wear by Gucci & Burberry, these are a few of my favorite things" #25"Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Kness, Look at these" #26"Oh my god! You're acting like an immigrant! I hate you!" #27"I'm sorry, but I can't continue this conversation with you because you're an absolute idiot" #28"Diamonds, and uh, uh.................. trash? Diamonds & Trash!" #29"Bye, I'm going to purge" #30"WARING: Excessive tanning may turn you into a bitch" #31"SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE: Drowsiness, Nightmares, and Psychotic episodes. If you die in your dreams, you die in real life" #32"If you don't want to end up like Paul McCartney, marry someone with two legs" #33(singing) "I don't want to go to sleep, Lucy won't you come with me? Let's go paint the town red, Let's go paint the town red. All these people bother me, let's go on a killing spree. Let's go paint the town red, Let's go paint the town red. Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh, Oooooh" #34"I'll be on the east coast, and he'll be on the west coast, so suck it! Suck it hard MidWest!" #35"I told her I never wanted to talk to her again the best I could 'I'll call you!'" #36"Step around the creep in the parka" #37"I want to kill you, so I must need another Valliume!" #38"PERSON 1:Everyone loves a cripple! PERSON 2:Obviously, I'm not everyone. Don't look in your trunk" #39"I'm an Abercrombie girl, in an Adirondack world!" #40"PERSON 1:My crazy sister says they should make a compound for gay people. PERSON 2: What do you think the bridges to San Francisco are for? It's a compound!" #41(singing)"Look at all the people holding hands, holding hands around the world. It is making me want to go wash my hands. Dirty hands arounf the world. Eeeeewwwwwwwwww." #42"You look like a Tickity Tack, Wacked Up Wack tranee from Transylvania who's not apologizing for it" #43"They never did catch that anthracks guy....................................."
The word of the Evil Fortune Cookie shall continue......
Who's going to be a Hollywood icon? Who's going to build a Parisian Couture House? Who's going to become the next great writer? Who's going to show the world the magic of the past? Me, Me, Me, and Me. I'm Stephan Etionne Monroe. I'm Coco Lamboux Ravelle. I'm Sam Summers. And I'm, well, you'll find that out one day.