My So Called Piece of Hot Mess Shit Life

I have nothing to do. Did I tell you I recently discovered the miracle of hairspray? Yes, it's a godesnd. Simply comb, spray, and your do is saved. I Love hairspray now, and that also includes the movie. Oh, I raided my grandmother's jewelry, and I found enough costume jewelry to start a CHANEL boutique. I found this round pendant, and now I'm constantly wearing it, pissing her off. I also got into a bit of a snag at the Burberry website. I really wanted this messenger bag that was only 125 dollars, but yesterday I checked it again, and that's 125 euros. FUCKSHIT. So, I changed the currency, and my expensive yet reasonable bag is 815 U.S. dollars. I am so pissed off. Did you know Eddie Cibrian was born on the same day as my mom. It's true. I'm just so sad because, when he was barely being born, she was 13. My mom is sooooooooooooo old, just like tell her everyday to her face. She's just so old fashioned, she doesn't know the concept of shopping just to shop, doesn't understand my "Valley accent" and how I supposedly "talk too fast", and while she's reaching 50, my friends' parents are at the most pushin' 40. My life is such a hot mess right now, one of my idols is Chelsea Handler, because after reading "Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea", I realized that, no offense Chels, her childhood was awful. And from what I can tell, my childhood is going the same way. There's the whole "gay fiasco", my cheap single mother, language buried, somewhat racist, slighty homophobic, ancient mexican grandfather, my also cheap, a little bit more accepting, not racist, not homophobic, nagging, kind of annoying, grandmother, my colorful array of extended family members, which, once they see a chance, like to fan off to the far corners of the country, away from us, me having family in South Carolina, Michigan, Spain, Cuba, Mexico, Colorado, and Canada, and finally this thing people keep telling me about me having no "empathy". Whatever that is, I really have no idea, and whenever I say that people stare. Well, I'm off to go check E!Online. Toodles!