Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Hawtness Scale

Dear Readers, god, I sound like a "Dear Abby" column, anyway, I just wanted to bring to your guys' attention (all three of you), that I will beginning the "Ravelle Hawtness Scale". Now, Kyra, if you're reading this, I'm borrowing your idea, ok, you can take it back if you want, but just to put it out there, you only did one hawtness scale video, so, you could say that the Hawtness Scale has moved. Just like Buffy, which changed from FOX to UPN after 4 seasons. Whatever, anyway, I'll update every week, well, kinda, Jim is going to always be at the top of the list (notice Jonathan Togo is nowhere in sight, I can't even eat at Togo's. although I never did, I thought it was a cheap and trashy deli).

P.S. Don't go to El Torito, I think I have Montezuma's revenge (hispanic to valley: montezuma's revenge=upset stomach and, well, you know, a lot of use of the bathroom. no, idiots, not food poisoning, this comes, ONLY, from mexican food).
Posted by at

My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.