Hello Upper West Coasters, Gossip Guy here, and Kimora Lee Simons has recently switched lanes from the Fab Lane to the Bitchy Diva Lane, to which I say, "Welcome!". Recently she was spotted at LAX with an enormous pile of Louis Vuitton luggage, so big if it was hollowed out you could probably fit 4 people. Besides breaking the backs of the luggage handlers and probably spending hundreds of dollars on the new luggage fees, somehow, even though she's catered to, hand and foot, she managed to get pissed off. First of all, you don't go diva in an outfit like that honey, and Second of all, do something! Naomi has the phones, throw a laptop! Do something! Spit on them! YOU! ARE! A! DIVA! Make it known to EVERYONE. Push them on the ground and pee on them. I know when I go diva (or divo, although divo sounds stupid, I mean , besides, I'm a gay. you know what, I'll go with diva) I will make them suffer. I will throw things, I will shove their heads into the table, I will be demanding. I will intentionally confuse them. I will treat them like dirt. MOVING ON BITCHES! It's time for a reminder. Project Runway, the show I just sadly started watching, will kick off his last season on Bravo this Wednsday, July 16. Watch What Happens. MOVING ON!
Things aren't going too well in the rest of California right now. The governator was spotted going to church yesterday, in a Hummer. Yes, H-U-M-M-E-R. The giant gas-guzzling beast, right after he threw some not so nice comments towards Bush about not trying to help Global Warming. Then (oh, it gets better)he parked on a red curb, yes, a firelane. Help! Someone! Our governor is become our local Bush! To add insult to the already bonfire of mistakes and upsets, he looks like a cross-bred austrian-soumoian (I probably mispelled that) with the horribly disgusting tropical shirt, and, oh my, red pants? Well, it's time to commit state-wide suicide, being the most glamorous state with a wardrobe-ly challenged governor. I hope he still isn't in office when I create my California Superbowl Half-time commercial. Let's just say it'l envolve vistas from around places in the state like San Francisco, L.A., Bodega Bay, the green belt, Lake Tahoe, the motherload, the sierra, Yosemite, Death valley, the redwood forest, Mt. Shasta, Hollywood, Hearst Castle, Santa Catalina, Highway 1, the Hotel Del Coronado, and finally the (by then completed) California sign. Which will be erected on the hills near the coast. The commercial will take up the entire commercial break, three minutes long, and will end with the california sunset, not looking at the sunset though, but at me, in a lounge pose with the California sign in the background. Well, enough of my rambling, I'm Out, Worship Me Bitches!
Things aren't going too well in the rest of California right now. The governator was spotted going to church yesterday, in a Hummer. Yes, H-U-M-M-E-R. The giant gas-guzzling beast, right after he threw some not so nice comments towards Bush about not trying to help Global Warming. Then (oh, it gets better)he parked on a red curb, yes, a firelane. Help! Someone! Our governor is become our local Bush! To add insult to the already bonfire of mistakes and upsets, he looks like a cross-bred austrian-soumoian (I probably mispelled that) with the horribly disgusting tropical shirt, and, oh my, red pants? Well, it's time to commit state-wide suicide, being the most glamorous state with a wardrobe-ly challenged governor. I hope he still isn't in office when I create my California Superbowl Half-time commercial. Let's just say it'l envolve vistas from around places in the state like San Francisco, L.A., Bodega Bay, the green belt, Lake Tahoe, the motherload, the sierra, Yosemite, Death valley, the redwood forest, Mt. Shasta, Hollywood, Hearst Castle, Santa Catalina, Highway 1, the Hotel Del Coronado, and finally the (by then completed) California sign. Which will be erected on the hills near the coast. The commercial will take up the entire commercial break, three minutes long, and will end with the california sunset, not looking at the sunset though, but at me, in a lounge pose with the California sign in the background. Well, enough of my rambling, I'm Out, Worship Me Bitches!
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