Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sexual Harrasment

Today, I was going through my old Chelsea Lately Podcasts, when I found this little gem. This is the reason why I love Chelsea Handler (Han-dl-er, ok you dumbasses that think her last name is "Lately"), she just does anything she feels like. kinda like me, only I have limitations thanks to an annoying and cheap family. Anyway, this was after the story of the governor and the whore, when Chelsea talks about how "A Sexually Harrased staff is a happy staff".

By the way, does anyone think the guy she puts her hands down his pants is cute? I think he's Chelsea's REAL assistant. I mean, have you ever actually seen Chuy doing anything "Assistant-y". Well, I'm off to check on my CHANEL podcast. Toodles!

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My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.