Friday, July 11, 2008

I'm Your Fire, at Your Desire!

Hell0 tHere, It's your's truly, Gossip Guy, and I'm going to make a confession. My favorite song right now is from the 70's. Yes, that's right, 70's (demonic voice). I don't know how it happened, one minute I'm watching OTIS (which I never got to finish watching thanks to the japanese company that posted it on the internet forgetting to post part 3, but posting part 4), the next I'm listening to Shocking Blue's, "Venus". Basically though, it's my future theme song, I mean, "A Goddess on a mountaintop, was burning like a silver flame. The summit of beauty in love, and Venus was her name", that, is, just, what, I, want, to, describe me in the future. I want to be the epitomy of glamour and the revival of Old Hollywoodland (as I intend to attend [oh my god that rhymes!] every award show and party dressed in fur and a tuxedo, comlete with plant and flower decorated hats. I even have an idea for loafers with heels, intended for the gayest of the gays [like me], plus I'll only be arriving in only cars made before 1939, preferably the Bugatti Royale). I don't know why no one's ever remade this song, it would be great, -GASP-, CSS should remake it! It would be the greatest remake ever, blowing Bananarama's version out of the water (I don't know who they are, I just know they remade it). It would make me happy long enough to hold me over until I see Jim Sturgess in person, after which I would die happy, well of course after I've become a celebrity and go through a fifty-year career. How am I gonna have a fifty-year long career? Plas-tic-sur-ger-y. UhDuh! I just don't wanna end up like Joan Rivers or Michael Jackson. Michael won't even admit to his obvious nose job, but Joan once said, "Honey, this face has seen more knives than a benihana". Actually, one of my friends has actually said that she want's to become the first actress to moonlight as a plastic surgeon, me and my sworn frienemy already guranteed botox treatments for our 45th birthdays. I might gossip later, but I Love Lucy is on. Fuck Off, I'm Out. Worship Me Bitches!


By the way, nevermind that thing about the double underline green links, apparently that was just my computer.
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My Odd Obsession with Death, Hollywood, and my need to take over the world that I can't shake

Why do I like to wander cemetaries? Why do I love Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Gene Kelley, Princess Diana, Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Aubrey Hepburn, and, suprisingly, Paris Hilton? Why can't I shake the yearning to take over the world and have the world population wait on me hand and foot, fanning me with enormous palm leaves, and buying me anything I desire. I don't know. Some people call me crazy, psychotic, pyro-maniacal, bi-polar, or insane, but its just me. Over time I'm going to reveal the method to my madness, but for today, all I'm going to reveal is this; My one true goal in life, if the world domination thing doesn't work out, is to be famous for nothing, and be treated like royalty. All I Want to be is, quoting one of the people I just talked about, Loved By You. Every single person alive. I want to be a house hold name. Just you watch, one day I'll be smiling from the center of the stage at Grauman's Chinese.